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"I return to my schools (even primary and elementary) in my dreams more than any other location within my past." |
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©2001 david mulhern |
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Immediately, my mind begins to scramble to figure out my class schedule. Images appear of different classes and teachers throughout my high school years (which to make it worse, were more than four), but I can't narrow down the year I'm in let alone the classes I had taken. I bolt for the office to get a copy of my class schedule. When I get there, Ms. Hayden prints me up a copy. I look down and feel better when I begin to recognize names and classes, but, the school is much different now. I don't know where these classroom are and the first bell is about to ring! I head for the library to find a map or someone to help. When I get there, it turns out the library is now the book store. I go in and begin searching for different kinds of writing supplies. I finally find what I'm looking for, a mechanical pencil, but find that the prices are sky high and I can't afford the ones I want, so I have to buy one of the pencils that have all the little lead capsules you have to push out from the rear to the tip. Then, I begin going through the text books and videos. For some reason I remain here and look through books and videos about ancient history and the world wars forgetting all about school and the reason I had come here in the first place. I am content with these books and videos
and I stay for awhile........ |
Locations: a
bad neighborhood |
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-- But, this dream was much different because of my mental state. I have never felt content in any of my "school" dreams. It's always nerve wrecking and I am in constant anticipation. I often have the "underwear dream", but those take place in my primary school days. However, in this one I found an inner peace within the books and videos on the book store shelf (which were arranged like a library) of my high school. I'm not quite sure of the total significance (if I believe in such a thing), but there are a few things familiar. I never had all the school supplies I needed because of the social status of my family, which would explain the expensive pencils. Those particular "push" pencils I found repulsive but always had to use because they were fairly inexpensive. They usually had "girly" patterns and I remember getting teased for them in grade school. As for the books and videos I might have an explanation. I spent almost six years in high school, and I never graduated. Even worse, I was in a special program in elementary school for elevated learning. It was called Seminar. We had to do essays and reports early on in our grade school days when every one else in the other classrooms were doing paper machete. The attention and curriculum was fun in the beginning but became rather tedious and boring towards junior high. Near my seventh grade year, I quit against the advice of my mom. From there, my school career went downhill and ended with the G.E.D. test about ten years later, rather than graduation six. For years, I think, and maybe even now, I always felt an emptiness about school. As if I never completed or utilized an important step of knowledge in a persons life. A stepping stone I skipped, if you will. But lately, I've felt just the opposite. I am meeting people with bachelors degrees and what not, who aren't remotely as "educated" as I am and I think the contentment in my dream is my now relaxation with the idea that people know what they know from their interests and hobbies and experience. Degrees are a piece of paper, and so is a G.E.D." Jake Yanes
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you are welcome here
.....I am somewhere on the campus of
my high school. It's Buckeye High's first day of school and I just
figured out that I am enrolled. 