"I really felt this one... It seemed so real. What I found strange was the connection that I felt with the companion. The deeper I went in this dream, the more interesting it became. And the restaurant that it begins in is a warm memory..." David Mulhern
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©2001 david mulhern

I am walking across the tightrope. The sky is filled with stars. The thick tight rope beneath me is attached to two cone shaped purple buildings. They look so tall. I am so high up. Why the fuck am I on a tightrope? Something has to make sense, somewhere there has to be a clue. 

I see Mark on another tightrope walking across. He is waving and smiling and yelling something... and falling off the tightrope... and dying. 

As he falls I can see him fade into the darkness below me. 

It is two weeks later and I am back on the tightrope. Someone tells me that Mark is in the hospital. I run through the hospital looking for his room but he isn’t here. He hit a ledge and his head is definitely not in very good condition. Not good enough to come back to life.

I’m on the tightrope thinking this and the girl is telling me that I must put a towel on the rope. If I don’t, I will die like Mark did two weeks ago. I pull on the towel and I lose my balance and I throw my towel up to the little girls but they won’t grab it.

Instead of falling, I am sort of hanging in mid-air throwing my towel up at the girls yelling “I DON’T WANT TO DIE!” at the top of my lungs over and over again you fucking bitches grab the fucking towel.

One of girls is looking at me, calmly, and she smiles, and she says: “Do not look into my eyes if you are going to die. It isn’t polite.” So I look away. And I fall. The rope is getting smaller. The world is getting smaller.

But something else is changing. The world is looking less real, and the stars are only light bulbs. This means I can stop falling. 

The room is strange. It is quiet. It is small. This room is the source. This silent white room where the sun is just a spotlight, and the stars are only light bulbs. Everything makes sense here.

This is the projection room of the world.

I looked at the spotlight as it shot through the white paper that was above me. I can feel the warmth from the huge pillar candles placed around the room. I want to explore. I want to know what this secret is. What this all means...

I do not go through the door that goes deeper into the secret, I leave out the closest one. The red wallpaper is the first thing I see as I leave the white room. The maze of red wallpaper. 

The farther I go the more familiar this maze becomes. It’s familiarity slowly tears down my defenses and makes me forget any future or realization of the truth.

Now, in one of the hallways with the weird dark flesh colored wallpaper with the light brown trim and the low dim dim lighting I can see a funny cartoon version of a fat human named Peter and it asks me to help find its friend.

I search through the maze and there’s his friend. He is dressed like a weird cowboy, distracting, this is a trick. I realize now that as I followed and searched through so many turns and so many doors that I had lost the room forever... I would never find my way back.

And that really makes me mad. Because in the room, there was one more door I could have gone through. It would have taken me deeper. But it was too late now.

I sat down by the cowboy and I turned on the TV.

On the TV was a show about three brothers. The oldest one's name was Joey Lawrence. I suddenly realized that this was probably the dumbest show I could possibly watch. Skeptical and wanting to change it, I entered the show. I replaced the oldest brother. 

Snow was everywhere.

We started the journey at a hill. The road seem to be at a 90 degree angle. I had the snowmobile so I would drive up the hill first. It didn't seem fair to me at the time, but I was the only one who could drive a snowmobile. 

We decided to walk up. With every step we took took I yelled, "Snowy and Icy and Deadly!" and with every step it got funnier because the slope just kept getting snowier and icier and deadlier. We made it to the top.

The mountains around us seemed so beautiful. As we walked along the hill I said to my younger brothers, "When I disappear under the snow, just keep walking..." in a joking manner. I said this because I actually thought this would happen. I was simply stating my fears.

Facing the sun.

On a pocketbook on the hill in the snow was a camera. Over to it's right were some kids on a sled. One of them was Ralphie from "A Christmas Carol" and I shouted, "Hey, it's Ralphie!"

It was. He had on a red jacket. Two of his friends were in the sleigh. I grabbed the camera and took a picture of one of my two brothers then set it down back in the snow. We continued walking.

The snow ended at the asphalt of the parking lot ahead of us. There was a fast-food type place at the end of the parking lot. It felt very familiar. Other than the snow and the mountains, I knew I'd been here before.

Inside, we ordered what it was we would eat. The girl that was to serve me seemed to have a very bad attitude. She was blonde. Our conversation slowly turned into an argument. The more we talked the more heated the discussion.

She pulled out a camera, took a picture of me with a negative comment attached. I blocked her insult by pulling out my camera. She smiled. She thought she was so beautiful. She asked me what I saw, expecting me to say she was smiling, happy and beautiful.

I said she was ugly and she stopped arguing. She walked away.

Oddly enough, the guy sitting next to me offered me the corn dog he was eating. I looked at him, thanked him, and said no.

"You could talk your way out of a paper bag." He said. "My company could use someone with your abilities." And that was that.

The corn dog was good, but it looked really strange.

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